A little problem

I'm sorry that I haven't written all week. I've ran into a little problem with my second vial of HCG. Not a big deal, but I did have to start phase 2 while I wait for a new vial. Trust me, it's no skin off my back. I get to eat whatever I want as long as it has no sugar or starches. Taco salad, here I come! I get to have a lot of yummy food that I haven't had in what seems like years, but was really weeks.

This may be a blessing in disguise because the lady at the clinic told me that people often stop at 3 weeks, go to phase 3, then do another 3 weeks of the shots. This is so that they can maximize their weight loss. Most people loose a bunch of weight in the beginning, then it slows after a few weeks. When I start again, it'll be like it was in the beginning of this round. I had some significant losses those days.

So I will write again when I start phase 2 again. I'm not sure when that will be.
Ta-ta for now!

Day 28

Today I'm down to an 18.6 loss all together. I'm creeping up on the big 2-0. How exiting. My fat pants are unwearable and I'm fitting into most of my size 16s again. Without a muffin top! :)
Yesterday I tried an apple day. I had 6 apples through out the day to try and speed up my loss. It was pretty easy. Much easier than a steak day and my loss was higher than the day before. I might try and do it a few more times to try a make up for the days that I gained or didn't lose anything.

My sister Amy wrote a comment yesterday that was really helpful. She told me to stop freaking out so much about pounds and start paying more attention to inches. She did tell me to do that in the beginning of all this but I really haven't kept up. So I'm going to start taking my inches again. This morning I measured for the first time since I started and was amazed. I lost 3 1/2 inches around the biggest part of my waist, 3 inches off my waist, 3 inches off my butt, 3 1/2 inches of my thigh, and 1 inch off my arm. I should've measured my chin. lol

Day 26

Yesterday was one of the hardest days on this diet. When I woke up and got on the scale, I had lost nothing at all. Zip, Zilch... True, I didn't gain. I'm thankful for that. But this was different than the other 2 times I gained. This time, I had been cutting my calories by leaving out fruit and Melba toasts for days to try and get out of a slump. When I gained, I had control of that. This time, it was out of my hands completely. It really shook me up. So I decided to do my version of a mini-steak day. I don't think it would even count as one. I had an apple at about 1:00 and then another at 3:00 after stupidly taking my vitamins on an empty stomach. Then had dinner at 5:30, which was 100 grams of steak and a Melba toast.

I guess my efforts worked because I woke up to a 1 pound loss this morning. I'm at 17 lbs lost all together and (drum roll).... I'm back in the 180's Yay! 189.4 to be exact. I am officially on my 80's comeback tour! I'm feeling nervous that he slump will return so I think my big goal today is to get myself feeling positive again.

Day 24

Hello again.
I'm down to 16 pounds lost exactly. That's not much since I posted last on Day 22. It seems that I may have entered a dreaded slump. I've read that slumps are very normal in this diet. I've been leaving out my second fruit and exercising a little more to try and get a boost. But so far I've only lost a half pound each day for the last 2 days. Plus before that I had the sunscreen drama, so thanks to that it's really been one pound in 3 days. Yikes! I've been thinking about doing a mini-steak day again, hoping this time would be different. But I just haven't felt full enough to do it. I do get hungry at mealtime but I'm not hungry at all in between those times. I'd like to be one of those people that I read about that feels so not hungry that they practically have to force feed themselves. Or this other woman that has a HCG twitter. She lost 28 lbs in 2 weeks! What's the difference between her body and mine? Don't get me wrong, I love love love my 16 lb loss. But I am absolutely focused on getting the most I can out of this round. Wish me luck on breaking this streak.

Day 22

Sorry I skipped a day yesterday. I was thinking that maybe I'd start blogging every other day because I'm running out of things to say. Anyone who knows me will be absolutely shocked to see that coming from me.

Yesterday was a bummer in that I gained .6 lb due to a mishap with sunscreen. I was spending the day with my son at the pool and I was careful to bring only recommended oil free sunscreen. I brought Alba for my son. I had learned a big lesson the last time I went to the pool that I have to put on the sunscreen often or else I will burn so fast and so furious. This time I had an 80 spf which was recommended to me by my super fair sister in law. "Mexico tested, gringa approved" she said. But as the day progressed I could feel my skin holding in that heat. It was becoming red, hot and splotchy and I was getting nervous. I was spraying the suncreen almost constantly, but it wasn't working for me. Finally, not thinking at all about the diet, I had my son put the Alba on my back and shoulders which seemed to work like a charm. My son is 8, so of course he put on a gallon of the stuff so my back was totally white. That would be the .6 lb that I gained right there. I remembered the diet shortly after and tried getting as much off in the shower as I could.

Today was better, I lost 1.2 lbs again which puts me back at 15.6 lbs lost all together. My weight is 190.8 and I'm really loving this loss, but I admit that I'm definitely frustrated by the setback.

Day 20

1.6 lbs lost which puts me at 15 lbs all together!
When I started this diet, I had two vials of HCG. I mixed one vial and put it into 20 syringes. Today I start my second set of 20 and my second vial of HCG. I'm halfway through phase 2! Part of me is exited to be closer to being done and part of me wants as much time as possible to lose more. I still feel like this is one of the best things I've ever done for myself and for my health.

Day 19

I lost that pesky pound that I gained due to water weight gain which puts me back to 193 lbs and 13.4 lbs lost all together. I'm hoping that I wasn't just maintaining the last few days. I'm hoping that I was still burning fat under all that water. But it has yet to show if it's true.

I had the coolest dream last night. I was looking in the mirror and I was thin. My stomach was perfectly flat. It was just a little glimpse of this dream but I remember it vividly and I feel so exited about my future.

Yeehaw!

Skip day (no injection)

O.k., it's definitely a little un-nerving that I gained another .4 lb today. That brings me to a whole pound gained. A whole pound of water weight gain? That seems like a lot. I wonder if this is how it is for other woman during their period. I wonder if the fat is still burning in my body underneath all that water. I guess I'll find out in the days to come.

I had a great conversation with my nurse friend Leah about the shots. She said that the HCG would be more easily absorbed by the body if I could get it into the muscle. But, that would be doubtful with the little 1/2 inch long needle I have. I admit that the thought of going into the muscle really freaked me out, but the next day, my mom and I tried our best with what we had. I'm no longer freaked out by it. I have no idea if it worked or not, but I will get a longer needle for the next round in January. What we did was really pulled my thigh as taut as I could. Then my mom poked in the needle, pulled back a little bit to see if she hit a vein, and plunged. Leah said that in all her years as a nurse that she'd never hit a vein. Blood would come up when you pull back on the plunger if you did. I guess I thought maybe it would really hurt to go into the muscle. But it didn't at all. These shots don't hurt at all. That's the scariest part of this diet for most people, including me. But I'm telling you. I've had them on my arm, thigh and hip and it's never hurt. I've never had a problem. And people with diabetes do it all the time. Yet, it's funny that I still can't inject myself. I felt better that even though Leah is a nurse and has injected people hundreds of times, she had a really tough time injecting herself as well. I'm not alone in my unruly anxiety.

I'm already almost half way through this round of shots. Time flies when your getting thinner.

Day 18

I am happy to know WHY I've gained .6 of a lb today. Water weight gain from, you guessed it, my period is here. Oh Joy! So I have no worries that the weight will come off soon. I will be continuing to take my HCG even though some books encourage skipping one or part of these days. And some don't. So I'm opting out of an additional skip day. My sister continued to take it and all was well. Besides, I have a skip day coming tomorrow anyway.

On to a more pleasing topic...food. I took some pics of a few of my meals so you can get an idea of what that 500 calorie diet looks like and what's allowed. It looks like more than you thought, right?

-The first picture is shrimp with tomatoes, seasoned with apple cider vinegar and my Costco organic salt free herbs. This is a great meal if you're in a hurry. That's actually only 1 cup of tomatoes. If you get the cherry tomatoes and cut them up, it looks like a lot more.
-The second picture is of my "taco salad". I use ground buffalo because it's much leaner than beef and I season it with the same taco seasoning I've been using for years. I use Bearitos seasoning from health food stores or the natural isle in the grocery store. I put that over 2 cups of spinach or mixed greens depending on my mood. This is the meal that will get me through this diet.
-The third one is tilapia with a cucumber salad. One thing I love about the tilapia is that it looks pretty big when you divide it into 100 grams. That's about half of one fillet. I mixed apple cider vinegar and again, my Costco herbs with the cucumber. And I love to spice up my fish with a tiny bit of cayenne pepper and some garlic powder. 2 cups of cucumber is just about a whole one if it's not colossal. But who doesn't love a colossal cucumber? just kidding.
-And of course, the dumb little Melba toast on the side. They are actually good. Kinda buttery and crunchy. If only they were twice the size. I can only dream.
And believe me I am dreaming.

Day 17

I woke up at 193 this morning which puts me at a 13.4 lb weight loss. It is so cool to see it just melt away.

It has been drawn to my attention that I need to do more explaining of what the phase 2 protocol requires and what I'm eating. These are the days after the first 2 gorging days and the whole rest of the time of taking the injections. For me that is 40 days. The VLCD (very low calorie diet) portion of the diet allows this:

-Skip breakfast, but coffee with stevia is allowed. I laugh at the 1 tbsp of milk you can use daily. I don't even bother. But I am a fan of the chocolate stevia.
-Lunch consists of 100 grams of lean meat and 1 or 2 cups of 1 kind of veggie. The list of allowable veggies is fairly short. But I try to keep a good variety in my week.
-Dinner 100 grams of a different lean meat or seafood than you had for lunch and 1 to 2 cups of a different veggie.
-2 Melba toasts anytime you want. I like to have them with my meal. It makes me think I'm more satisfied for longer. I just felt irritated when I used them for an in-between meal snack being that it's a small cracker. Yeah, like that's gonna fill me up.
-2 fruits. You can have an apple, 7 med strawberries, an orange or 1/2 grapefruit. Sometimes I will have an apple as my breakfast if I feel hungry.
-As much water and tea and coffee as you want.
-The juice of 1 lemon is allowed. Sometimes I cook with it and sometimes I make lemonade with stevia.
-You can use salt, pepper, and many other herbs and spices as long as it doesn't have any sugar in it. Sugar can be hidden in strange places so read all labels. My favorite seasoning is Costco brand organic salt free seasoning. It's yummy on everything, especially shrimp and veggies.
-Some recommend taking 2 tbsp a day of apple cider vinegar. I try to include that in my veggies on most days.

That's it. I'll talk more about phase 3 when I get there. And in the days to come I will post food pics and go into more detail about what I'm eating and what I'm using on my skin. Stay tuned. :)

Day 16

A .8 loss overnight puts me at 194 lbs and a 12.4 lb loss all together. In an attempt to bring my weight loss up to a pound a day average, I did a mini steak day yesterday. I'm suspecting that my impending monthly friend could be the reason that I didn't even lose a whole pound. Hopefully, there will come a day when I do get to see the results. For those of you that don't know the diet well, a steak day may be called for after the phase of injections is done. If you weigh more than 2 lbs over your last injection day weight. This keeps your weight at the new set point. During a steak day, I would eat or drink as much water, tea or coffee as I want, but not eat anything until dinner. Then I would get a large steak and an apple. A mini steak day is the same only I get 100 grams of steak. It wasn't too bad. I wasn't very hungry. I had a growling stomach but none of the other symptoms of hunger. And my stomach was easily tamed with a large glass of water or tea. I drank enough water to pretty much keep me on the toilet for the whole day. I really just should've put on a Depends. I made this decision yesterday when 1 o'clock came around and I wasn't even hungry for my lunch at all. But, I kept the pressure off. I wanted to feel like I could eat if I had to without feeling like a failure. So, I kept it open until after dinner. That's when I wanted to eat more but I had come that far, I had to get a little tougher with myself. It was overall pretty easy. I didn't even have to get out the bull whip to keep myself out of the fridge.
I read the coolest blog yesterday and I've got to share it with you. It makes me so exited for life after HCG. Please check this out. You'll get a glimpse into my future.
http://montanahcgjourney.blogspot.com/2009/07/phase-4-and-living.html

Day 15

1.6 lbs lost this morning which brings me up to 11.6 lbs lost all together. Yesterday, I was crabby and tired and just wanted to quit the diet. This is not a hard diet but I was being a big baby and just wanted a little more variety in my meals. I miss salsa, avocados and salads with a bunch of different veggies. I told Matt that I want to quit this stupid diet and get liposuction when we're rich. And he was like "o.k., I'll go get your fat clothes back out of the closet". That was a good response. It shut me up. I didn't really mean it when I said that I wanted to quit. I guess that sometimes I just have to throw that out there once in a while to curb the unconscious monkey mind fears that I will have to do this diet forever. You know when you're sick with a nasty flu, there's a part of you that can't imagine yourself feeling well. Maybe even a slight fear that you might actually die. That's the monkey mind blowing things out of proportion trying to survive, even though our logical minds can see that things will be fine soon. Well I'll tell you what, I'm not going to let my monkey mind throw poo on this diet.

Day 14

A .4 lb loss this morning puts me at an even 10 lbs down. Yay!!! I'm a milestone kinda person. I like to celebrate adult birthday's at milestones, ect. That's just my style. I feel like every 10 lbs. is it's own little milestone up til that day when I hit my goal weight. I'd love to tell you what that weight is, but honestly, I don't know. I would say that I'd like to be the same weight I was as a teenager, but even though I was pretty thin, my inner thighs have always had a fat pocket and I've always had a tummy. I couldn't wear dresses without shorts or tights even when I was 13. So, whatever weight I need to be to get to wear dresses without shorts. That will be my goal weight. I might have a better idea of what that will be during my second round in January.

Day 13

1.6 pounds down from yesterday. And I didn't even have the shot yesterday. That's huge! I personally think anything over one is pulling a good number for the day. So, that means that I have no idea why I really gained that pound and I may never know. I guess I'll just chalk it up to cheating on Wednesday and move on. I'm at a 9.6 loss since I started which puts my weight at 196.8. Today, I will be gone for part of the day so this will be the first time that I will have to plan to bring a meal. I'm having my yummy taco salad at home and a bowl of herbed shrimp and tomatoes that I'll bring in case I'm gone at dinner. I feel like today is going to be a good day.

Skip day (no injection)

I thought about skipping today's blog all together when I got on the scale and gained a pound. Bummed, yes. But I'm not looking to hide the pound. I just wanted to know the reason before I posted. But, I decided to post anyway because it'll probably be a few days before I know for sure. It could be one of two things that I can think of. 1) Cheating on Wednesday may have shown up a little delayed, and 2) I may be bloated due to p.m.s.. If it is p.m.s., then I would assume that I'd be stalled for a few more days until the big P arrives. That could be a whole week. If it is just a delayed reaction to a little celebrating, then I should be down again in two days. I won't be down tomorrow because today is the day I skip the HCG.
The good news is that I finally have my hunger resolved. Hallelujah! It took longer than most people because I didn't have a correct dosage for a while. I would recommend to anyone going on the diet to spend the extra money and get the premixed HCG. My sister did that and it was so much easier for her.
I've just got to remind myself to keep going forward. One step, one meal, one day at a time and I'll get there.

Day 12

Wow! What a great night I had with my family yesterday. And this morning I am so thankful to see a .2 weight loss. Which puts me at an even 9 lbs. down. I may have given up a pound last night. I'm just going to have to suck it up and move on. This is what happened. My brother and his fiancee have a baby on the way. Lacy is due in November. They were also set to have a wedding Sept 5th. Last night I was told that we were having a meeting about the wedding and also making invitations at my parents house. So I packed up my kids and went down. Feeling lazy I went with no makeup, my hair was a mess and I was wearing a tank top with a ripped hem that showed my bra straps. Keep that in mind when I tell you that as soon as I walked in the door Lacy came to me and whispered that my step mom is reading the announcement. The announcement said that they eloped. When? "Oh in about a half an hour" said Lacy. Leslie (step mom) and I flipped. We went into a mad rage to get ready. The officiant was on her way! I threw on some mascara, raided Leslie's closet, tried to wrap my head around it all, and it was on. It was in the same spot I got married 6 years ago. It was beautiful. My brother found himself a wonderful family and I am so happy for them. I'm also thankful to have a new sister in law that is also a friend, with 2 great new nieces whom I adore.
So yeah, good BBQ and cake. That' s how it happened. I don't regret it. And it was a tiny amount that I munched...happily.

Day 11

One more pound down which equals 8.8 lbs lost. My next idea to boost my lost to it's fullest potential is trying to just use baking soda instead of deodorant. I've always used the same kind of deodorant and felt that I could never be one of those people that used the natural kind. I have been using every other hygiene product in a natural or organic brand. But I laughed in the face of baking soda in place of my Secret. But I did try a natural brand of deodorant for this diet and I really like it. It's Jason brand with an apricot smell. Yum. The thing that I like the most about it is, if my pits get a little smelly at the end of the day, I can just wipe or rinse and reuse and I'm fresh again. I don't know if you've ever tried putting on the grocery store stuff over stinky pits but I'm telling you, it's worse then doing nothing at all. And once it's on, it's on. You have to shower and shave to get it off.
I'm a stay at home mom, so I have no one to offend but my kids for most of the day. And anyone who has kids know that they are a little smelly anyway and don't care a bit. I can always freshen up before my husband gets home. And hey, I can do anything for 6 weeks. That's the great motto of this diet.
We'll see if this gives a little boost or not tomorrow.

O.k., I gave the baking soda a try and YYYOOOUUUCCCHHH!!! If you have the tiniest bit of razor burn, fagetaboutit! It burns. Back to Jason's apricot.

Day 10

I woke up to a .6 lb loss. I talked to my sister Amy last night and she figured out that I wasn't getting enough HCG. The directions on my box had a misprint. It said to take .175 and I supposed to take .75. That's a pretty big difference. I got my first full dose last night and I already feel so much better. Less hungry, less tired and most importantly, less crabby! Yay!! Ding dong the witch is dead!
I'm very thankful to have my sister to guide me through this. She is an awesome support. She always has been, especially when things got really hard in my life. She was always there with the right words, whether it was a loved one's death or "the big talk" about STD's. She's my big sister, 10 years my senior and she's always been there, my whole life. She took care of me in the ways my mom couldn't. Cheers to Amy!
Here's a picture of us gals right before the Fleetwood Mac concert that Amy treated us to a couple of months ago. Amy had already completed her first round of HCG by that point. So I look giant between my two thin sisters. I just think, here's ANOTHER great "before" picture for my "before and after" collection.
From left: My sister Mindy, Me, Amy and our Mom

Day 9

Lesson learned! I will never try and replace anything on this diet again. They warn of that in the book and they are not kidding. I got the Wasa bread the other day and replaced them for the Melba toast and woke up this morning having lost no weight at all. Bummer! Here's where it went wrong. I looked at the nutritional panel. It had listed <0 sugars. So o.k., less than 0 sugars. How do you get less than 0? I don't know, but my assumption that there was no sugar was wrong because this morning I looked at the list of ingredients and there it was. SUGAR! What the? Grrrrr! This diet is so super sensitive that one lady gained 3 lbs just from using ear oil given to her by her doctor. So even the tiniest bit of deviation cost me a whole day. Those Melba toasts are sounding really good again.

Day 8

Down .8 lb which takes me below the 200 lb. mark. My weight is 199.2 this morning. Yesterday was the 4th of July and my hunger was surprisingly low. I went and got some Wasa bread because it's way bigger than the Melba toast, same calories and no sugar. I couldn't find any Grissinni breadsticks which is the only other option in my book other than the Melba toast. Matt's had his eye on those little Melba toasts from day one. I think he may have considered even doing this diet himself just to get to eat those. Just having fun talking yesterday, we went over the calories he usually eats a day and we came up with an astonishing 3400. He's not fat, so his body can burn all of those with not much exercise. (yes, there is a slight hint of irritation and jealousy here).
My stomach looks so much smaller to me! I'll remeasure soon and let you know how many inches I've lost. And I also wanted to say thank you for the wonderful comments. It really keeps me motivated.

Day 7

I did end up skipping yesterday's injection which went fine. That means that I have lost no weight today. Right now I'm hungry and my husband is downstairs making bacon for the family. I can smell it and my stomach is growling. I have my apple for breakfast. I usually wait until at least 10am to eat it but today is going to have to be different. I'm trying to keep my chin up and not let it get to me. I can do that. I can be strong. That greasy fatty bacon can kiss my ass cause I can already wear shorts that I haven't fit into for over a year. hehe
The food I really miss is taco's, burritos, taco salad's, ect. It's all basically the same food. Last night I put some of my taco seasoning on my ground buffalo and put it over mixed greens for a little taco salad. It was yummy.

Skip day (no injection)

Another 2.4 lbs. down! For a total of 6.4 lbs down in 3 days. Amazing.
I had some hunger yesterday and ate 1 extra celery stick. I don't feel great about it. I'd rather not do things like that, even though a celery stick is like 1 calorie. I guess more than anything I was hoping to feel no hunger at all by now. The hungry feeling was was not much at all and it coupled with a feeling of wanting to eat something good and wanting to feel full. Today is Friday and I was thinking that today I was going to skip my shot since I only take them 6 days a week. But I may just wait until Sat or Sun to try and get the most in my system and feel fuller.
I bought some chocolate stevia for my coffee. It's pretty yummy. It does not replace my chocolate almond milk but it'll get me through this next 5 weeks.

Day 6

Another 2 pounds down this morning for a total of 5 in 2 days! My hunger was almost gone yesterday. This is going to be the easiest diet I've ever done. If I lose another 3 pounds tomorrow, I'll be back under the 200 lb. mark again. That will be awesome.
Yesterday, I had 2 hours of feeling tired and yucky from detoxing, but very soon I had my energy back and felt great. I've also been figuring out ways to spice up my food nicely and coming up with some good ideas for my very limited diet. For instance, I get the juice of one lemon everyday. I use it in my tea or to cook with generally but I thought, once it gets hot this summer, it could be nice to make lemonade with stevia and freeze into popsicles. I would probably get 6 in one day and it may only use half of a lemon. I'll let you know if it turns out well.
Happy happy joy joy!

Day 5

This morning was the first day of losing the weight that I started with. The real weight. I cannot believe it.... I stepped on that scale this morning and was 3 lbs down!!!!! Exactly 3 lbs. That's an insane amount of weight to be lost in one night. I am a happy camper today. My stomach feels and looks thinner too. My mom even noticed.
You may not realize that I've been blogging every morning about the day before. My schedule just works out better that way. So, I'll tell you that Day 4's hunger was way better then Day 3. I think it's more psychological than physical anyway. Yesterday's hunger probably got up to a 3 out of 10. Not bad at all. And the first low cal day's hunger, I would say, got up to a 6. So that's still pretty manageable. I think that the worst part for me is the feeling like I'm detoxing. Fat stores toxins and when that fat separates from their deposits and gets burned up, bodies feel crappy until it detoxes. I've been a happy clam during the day and a crazy bitch in the evening. I try really hard to stay chill but it boils up within me. Maybe the fat stores crabbiness as well. :)
I was reading about genetic obesity last night and learned some amazing stuff. Like it can be detected in a normal sized child by certain areas of their bodies having small pockets of fat. I certainly recognized a few of these in my body as a child. And I didn't have much energy either. I had a tough time keeping up with my friends and cousins. It's great to understand all this considering I've been eating really healthy for about 8 years with no results. And I see my sister Mindy eating Little Debbies and staying tiny. Both Amy and I were kids with tummies. Poor kids, we never had a chance.......until now. :)
I probably won't feel much hunger at all today but I'll let you know tomorrow.

Day 4

I'm far too curious a person to avoid the scale right after 2 gorging days. I know I said I wouldn't look but I did (you knew I would :)). I gained 6 lbs. I didn't feel too bad about it because I knew it's coming off soon. But today I got on that scale and it was gone already! I am the exact weight I was when I started. 206.4. While it feels great to lose, I gotta say I'm a little concerned about the next couple of days. That weight was supposed to keep me from feeling hungry until the HCG kicks in. And honestly, yesterday was no party. I was hungry from about 12 o'clock on. I can't imagine how hungry I'd be if I didn't eat so much fat last weekend. I don't like to feel too hungry. I can't imagine anyone does. So here's my plan for not cheating. First of all, I'm praying like crazy, all day, then I'm drinking a ton of Kava tea. It's really yummy and it keeps me pretty calm. As soon as I get anxious, that's the danger zone for losing control. I'm reading people's blogs about their experience to keep feeling positive and motivated and I'm going to bed early and sleeping in late. You can't feel hungry when your sleeping. Although I do remember having dreams about food last night. hehe I swear at one point in the night I woke up chewing.
Matt's been so amazingly supportive. He's trying to make sure that the kids food needs are taken' care of. My daughter snacks all through the day and yesterday's pb and j got me big time when I smelled it. Today, he's prepared small sandwiches for her to snack on and stuck them in the fridge. What a wonderful man! I went to sleep last night feeling so lucky to have him. My son has also been a big help. He helps to keep both of them fed and busy throughout the day. Maybe it's because I'm totally irritable, but they've been letting me be so far. Things will normalize when the HCG kicks in. COME ON HCG!

Day 3

Is it so wrong that I'm trying to get my sister Mindy to drive to my house to give me my shot? Actually my 14 year old nephew might do it. I'm cool with that. I trust him and it could be another good life experience for him. I tried once again for about a half an hour before giving up and deciding that my mom will be home around 3, and if I have to wait that long, then so be it. I might just plan to have it everyday at that time. I know, I'm a HUGE wuss. I can give birth with no drugs, but can't seem to give myself a tiny, painless shot.
The reason that I'm trying to get it done earlier is that I'm kind of intimidated by the thought of hunger creeping in today. So far I have none at all, and I have food that I'm able to eat anytime, so all is well. Actually I kind of still have a stomach ache from all of the junk food this weekend. My stomach is trying to digest it and that feels almost like hunger when I'm not paying attention. I felt bloated and full and gross this whole weekend so I'm looking forward to feeling lighter.
My sister Amy lost 28 1/2 lbs. in the 6 weeks that she was taking the HCG. If I lose that much, I will be able to fit into a whole stack of pants I kept from 2 years ago when I was about 30 lbs. smaller. That is great motivation. Another great motivator is that Amy told me that she ate a Chipotle burrito (my favorite food) and didn't gain any weight at all. That's pretty cool for me. All though, she did mention that she kept her carb intake low on the days surrounding.

Day 2

Matt gave me my shot this morning. He didn't mess around. It was over and done before I could could even say the words "injection junction, what's your function?" Tomorrow, when he's at work, I'll give it a go myself. Even though it doesn't hurt at all, it might still be tough to stab my leg with a needle.
Today is another gorging day as well. I'm not hungry at all. Last night I broke down and had a salad with tofu for dinner. Not much fat in that meal. Matt has been awesome supporting me though this part of the diet. He makes sure that I've got chips and dip and cake and all sorts of crap. I know that he likes to eat this stuff but I honestly don't believe that his support is for selfish reasons. He understands that if I don't eat all this fat, I may be hungry through the next few days. We'll see how supportive he is when my diet changes starting tomorrow.
Some sick, curious part of my brain wants to step on the scale and see how much I've gained, but I'm going to try and ignore that impulse for my own peace of mind.

Day 1

My starting weight is 206.4. I took my measurements this morning and had Matt take some sad pics in my underwear. I had my first shot this morning as well. My sister Amy has already done this diet and getting ready for her second round. She's always had a fear of needles, even passing out at the doctor's office. But somehow she got up the nerve to give herself the injection everyday. I thought "if she can do it, I can do it". Wrong! I tried. I did. I said affirmations that I'm a strong and courageous woman. I even imagined myself in the jungle with a horrible disease and this little shot was the antidote. It was life or death. But my brain can't be so easily lied to. I think that the reason it was so hard for me was that I knew that Matt and my mom were home and both fully capable of doing it for me. Matt chickened out so I had my mom do it. And when she did, I was blown away that there was no pain at all. None! I couldn't even feel the needle go in. I thought maybe she missed. I'm thrilled at that realization and I'm going to give it another try tomorrow. I think doing it myself is the best option.
So today I'm supposed to eat as much fat as possible. I had a great big fattening breakfast. An omelet filled with veggies and smothered in avocado, salsa, cheese and sour cream. I made bacon and bagels with cream cheese. And now I am too full to eat lunch. It's 1 o'clock and my kids are begging me to go to the restaurant we were planning and I'm not feelin' it. Not at all. If only this could be one of those days where I could eat ANYTHING in my site. But no, I haven't felt that way all week. Eating has just been a chore. Obviously this phenomenon is rare being that I've got about 60 lbs to lose. My friends and family know I can take it down with the best of 'em. Bad timing stomach...geez!
I'm not going to weigh myself again for a few days. I know that I will gain some weight during this next few days and I'd rather not even know how much. Maybe when I've lost some major weight, I'll feel better about posting those previously mentioned pictures but for now, as my pants feel tight enough to make me a little nauseous, I think I'll pass.

This Journey

I decided to start a blog to track my progress for a few reasons. 1) it's part of the protocol that I keep track somehow, 2) this diet seems scary, so I'm kind of a guinea pig of sorts for others and 3) so my friends can laugh at me for putting myself through this.

On Saturday I start two gorging days where I take the HCG injection (yes, I said injection), then eat as much fatty foods as I can fit into 2 days without making myself sick. That sounded fun until I went to the grocery store and felt totally overwhelmed filling up the cart with total junk. I don't do this usually. I've trained my brain pretty well to stay away from that stuff for the most part. I felt bad buying it. But then again, this is such a small part of the diet that I'm sure that I can get through it, especially when we go to the lunch buffet at my favorite Indian restaurant for my anniversary. But it's an important part of the diet. My body will be able to use up that stored fat for the next few days until the HCG kicks in to keep me from feeling hungry.
Whoa is me. :)


Today I'm preparing for the hard part of the diet. The shots and the first six weeks. I have to mix and prefill the needles and preportion my food. My diet will be very limited for the next six weeks. Then it will ease up for six weeks after that.

I should probably tell you the purpose of this diet. From what I've read, I'm retraining my metabolism (via my hypothalamus gland) to keep my body at a certain weight. This should last my whole life. I should be able to eat as much as I want as long as it's REAL food, not processed food, without gaining any weight. My body should match that of those skinny bitches that can eat whatever they want and never gain a pound. When I take the HCG, my body will become super sensitive to anything that I put into it, meaning, if I put lotion with any nutritional oil onto my body, it could stall my loss or I could even gain. So, it's so important that I don't cheat at all. It's to difficult a diet to do over and over. So I take the shots for 6 weeks with a diet that only consists of 500 calories. I won't feel hungry at all after the first few days. But those first few days might be tough. I'm praying big time to get through it. My body will be using about 1500 calories a day in stored fat that would never be touched otherwise, to stay healthy. These reserves are not the first ones released when dieting diet and exercise alone. Then after I'm done with the shots come the very important retraining days. As I SLOWLY reintroduce starches and sugars back into my diet, my metabolism will learn to process them efficiently. I have enough weight to lose that I will have to do this diet twice. I'm hoping to do the second round in January.

No matter how freaky you think this is, please wish me luck. And don't worry, if things aren't going well, I'll stop.