I'm far too curious a person to avoid the scale right after 2 gorging days. I know I said I wouldn't look but I did (you knew I would :)). I gained 6 lbs. I didn't feel too bad about it because I knew it's coming off soon. But today I got on that scale and it was gone already! I am the exact weight I was when I started. 206.4. While it feels great to lose, I gotta say I'm a little concerned about the next couple of days. That weight was supposed to keep me from feeling hungry until the HCG kicks in. And honestly, yesterday was no party. I was hungry from about 12 o'clock on. I can't imagine how hungry I'd be if I didn't eat so much fat last weekend. I don't like to feel too hungry. I can't imagine anyone does. So here's my plan for not cheating. First of all, I'm praying like crazy, all day, then I'm drinking a ton of Kava tea. It's really yummy and it keeps me pretty calm. As soon as I get anxious, that's the danger zone for losing control. I'm reading people's blogs about their experience to keep feeling positive and motivated and I'm going to bed early and sleeping in late. You can't feel hungry when your sleeping. Although I do remember having dreams about food last night. hehe I swear at one point in the night I woke up chewing.
Matt's been so amazingly supportive. He's trying to make sure that the kids food needs are taken' care of. My daughter snacks all through the day and yesterday's pb and j got me big time when I smelled it. Today, he's prepared small sandwiches for her to snack on and stuck them in the fridge. What a wonderful man! I went to sleep last night feeling so lucky to have him. My son has also been a big help. He helps to keep both of them fed and busy throughout the day. Maybe it's because I'm totally irritable, but they've been letting me be so far. Things will normalize when the HCG kicks in. COME ON HCG!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Day 3
Is it so wrong that I'm trying to get my sister Mindy to drive to my house to give me my shot? Actually my 14 year old nephew might do it. I'm cool with that. I trust him and it could be another good life experience for him. I tried once again for about a half an hour before giving up and deciding that my mom will be home around 3, and if I have to wait that long, then so be it. I might just plan to have it everyday at that time. I know, I'm a HUGE wuss. I can give birth with no drugs, but can't seem to give myself a tiny, painless shot.
The reason that I'm trying to get it done earlier is that I'm kind of intimidated by the thought of hunger creeping in today. So far I have none at all, and I have food that I'm able to eat anytime, so all is well. Actually I kind of still have a stomach ache from all of the junk food this weekend. My stomach is trying to digest it and that feels almost like hunger when I'm not paying attention. I felt bloated and full and gross this whole weekend so I'm looking forward to feeling lighter.
My sister Amy lost 28 1/2 lbs. in the 6 weeks that she was taking the HCG. If I lose that much, I will be able to fit into a whole stack of pants I kept from 2 years ago when I was about 30 lbs. smaller. That is great motivation. Another great motivator is that Amy told me that she ate a Chipotle burrito (my favorite food) and didn't gain any weight at all. That's pretty cool for me. All though, she did mention that she kept her carb intake low on the days surrounding.
The reason that I'm trying to get it done earlier is that I'm kind of intimidated by the thought of hunger creeping in today. So far I have none at all, and I have food that I'm able to eat anytime, so all is well. Actually I kind of still have a stomach ache from all of the junk food this weekend. My stomach is trying to digest it and that feels almost like hunger when I'm not paying attention. I felt bloated and full and gross this whole weekend so I'm looking forward to feeling lighter.
My sister Amy lost 28 1/2 lbs. in the 6 weeks that she was taking the HCG. If I lose that much, I will be able to fit into a whole stack of pants I kept from 2 years ago when I was about 30 lbs. smaller. That is great motivation. Another great motivator is that Amy told me that she ate a Chipotle burrito (my favorite food) and didn't gain any weight at all. That's pretty cool for me. All though, she did mention that she kept her carb intake low on the days surrounding.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Day 2
Matt gave me my shot this morning. He didn't mess around. It was over and done before I could could even say the words "injection junction, what's your function?" Tomorrow, when he's at work, I'll give it a go myself. Even though it doesn't hurt at all, it might still be tough to stab my leg with a needle.
Today is another gorging day as well. I'm not hungry at all. Last night I broke down and had a salad with tofu for dinner. Not much fat in that meal. Matt has been awesome supporting me though this part of the diet. He makes sure that I've got chips and dip and cake and all sorts of crap. I know that he likes to eat this stuff but I honestly don't believe that his support is for selfish reasons. He understands that if I don't eat all this fat, I may be hungry through the next few days. We'll see how supportive he is when my diet changes starting tomorrow.
Some sick, curious part of my brain wants to step on the scale and see how much I've gained, but I'm going to try and ignore that impulse for my own peace of mind.
Today is another gorging day as well. I'm not hungry at all. Last night I broke down and had a salad with tofu for dinner. Not much fat in that meal. Matt has been awesome supporting me though this part of the diet. He makes sure that I've got chips and dip and cake and all sorts of crap. I know that he likes to eat this stuff but I honestly don't believe that his support is for selfish reasons. He understands that if I don't eat all this fat, I may be hungry through the next few days. We'll see how supportive he is when my diet changes starting tomorrow.
Some sick, curious part of my brain wants to step on the scale and see how much I've gained, but I'm going to try and ignore that impulse for my own peace of mind.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Day 1
My starting weight is 206.4. I took my measurements this morning and had Matt take some sad pics in my underwear. I had my first shot this morning as well. My sister Amy has already done this diet and getting ready for her second round. She's always had a fear of needles, even passing out at the doctor's office. But somehow she got up the nerve to give herself the injection everyday. I thought "if she can do it, I can do it". Wrong! I tried. I did. I said affirmations that I'm a strong and courageous woman. I even imagined myself in the jungle with a horrible disease and this little shot was the antidote. It was life or death. But my brain can't be so easily lied to. I think that the reason it was so hard for me was that I knew that Matt and my mom were home and both fully capable of doing it for me. Matt chickened out so I had my mom do it. And when she did, I was blown away that there was no pain at all. None! I couldn't even feel the needle go in. I thought maybe she missed. I'm thrilled at that realization and I'm going to give it another try tomorrow. I think doing it myself is the best option.
So today I'm supposed to eat as much fat as possible. I had a great big fattening breakfast. An omelet filled with veggies and smothered in avocado, salsa, cheese and sour cream. I made bacon and bagels with cream cheese. And now I am too full to eat lunch. It's 1 o'clock and my kids are begging me to go to the restaurant we were planning and I'm not feelin' it. Not at all. If only this could be one of those days where I could eat ANYTHING in my site. But no, I haven't felt that way all week. Eating has just been a chore. Obviously this phenomenon is rare being that I've got about 60 lbs to lose. My friends and family know I can take it down with the best of 'em. Bad timing stomach...geez!
I'm not going to weigh myself again for a few days. I know that I will gain some weight during this next few days and I'd rather not even know how much. Maybe when I've lost some major weight, I'll feel better about posting those previously mentioned pictures but for now, as my pants feel tight enough to make me a little nauseous, I think I'll pass.
So today I'm supposed to eat as much fat as possible. I had a great big fattening breakfast. An omelet filled with veggies and smothered in avocado, salsa, cheese and sour cream. I made bacon and bagels with cream cheese. And now I am too full to eat lunch. It's 1 o'clock and my kids are begging me to go to the restaurant we were planning and I'm not feelin' it. Not at all. If only this could be one of those days where I could eat ANYTHING in my site. But no, I haven't felt that way all week. Eating has just been a chore. Obviously this phenomenon is rare being that I've got about 60 lbs to lose. My friends and family know I can take it down with the best of 'em. Bad timing stomach...geez!
I'm not going to weigh myself again for a few days. I know that I will gain some weight during this next few days and I'd rather not even know how much. Maybe when I've lost some major weight, I'll feel better about posting those previously mentioned pictures but for now, as my pants feel tight enough to make me a little nauseous, I think I'll pass.
Friday, June 26, 2009
This Journey
I decided to start a blog to track my progress for a few reasons. 1) it's part of the protocol that I keep track somehow, 2) this diet seems scary, so I'm kind of a guinea pig of sorts for others and 3) so my friends can laugh at me for putting myself through this.
On Saturday I start two gorging days where I take the HCG injection (yes, I said injection), then eat as much fatty foods as I can fit into 2 days without making myself sick. That sounded fun until I went to the grocery store and felt totally overwhelmed filling up the cart with total junk. I don't do this usually. I've trained my brain pretty well to stay away from that stuff for the most part. I felt bad buying it. But then again, this is such a small part of the diet that I'm sure that I can get through it, especially when we go to the lunch buffet at my favorite Indian restaurant for my anniversary. But it's an important part of the diet. My body will be able to use up that stored fat for the next few days until the HCG kicks in to keep me from feeling hungry.
Whoa is me. :)
Today I'm preparing for the hard part of the diet. The shots and the first six weeks. I have to mix and prefill the needles and preportion my food. My diet will be very limited for the next six weeks. Then it will ease up for six weeks after that.
I should probably tell you the purpose of this diet. From what I've read, I'm retraining my metabolism (via my hypothalamus gland) to keep my body at a certain weight. This should last my whole life. I should be able to eat as much as I want as long as it's REAL food, not processed food, without gaining any weight. My body should match that of those skinny bitches that can eat whatever they want and never gain a pound. When I take the HCG, my body will become super sensitive to anything that I put into it, meaning, if I put lotion with any nutritional oil onto my body, it could stall my loss or I could even gain. So, it's so important that I don't cheat at all. It's to difficult a diet to do over and over. So I take the shots for 6 weeks with a diet that only consists of 500 calories. I won't feel hungry at all after the first few days. But those first few days might be tough. I'm praying big time to get through it. My body will be using about 1500 calories a day in stored fat that would never be touched otherwise, to stay healthy. These reserves are not the first ones released when dieting diet and exercise alone. Then after I'm done with the shots come the very important retraining days. As I SLOWLY reintroduce starches and sugars back into my diet, my metabolism will learn to process them efficiently. I have enough weight to lose that I will have to do this diet twice. I'm hoping to do the second round in January.
No matter how freaky you think this is, please wish me luck. And don't worry, if things aren't going well, I'll stop.
On Saturday I start two gorging days where I take the HCG injection (yes, I said injection), then eat as much fatty foods as I can fit into 2 days without making myself sick. That sounded fun until I went to the grocery store and felt totally overwhelmed filling up the cart with total junk. I don't do this usually. I've trained my brain pretty well to stay away from that stuff for the most part. I felt bad buying it. But then again, this is such a small part of the diet that I'm sure that I can get through it, especially when we go to the lunch buffet at my favorite Indian restaurant for my anniversary. But it's an important part of the diet. My body will be able to use up that stored fat for the next few days until the HCG kicks in to keep me from feeling hungry.
Whoa is me. :)
Today I'm preparing for the hard part of the diet. The shots and the first six weeks. I have to mix and prefill the needles and preportion my food. My diet will be very limited for the next six weeks. Then it will ease up for six weeks after that.
I should probably tell you the purpose of this diet. From what I've read, I'm retraining my metabolism (via my hypothalamus gland) to keep my body at a certain weight. This should last my whole life. I should be able to eat as much as I want as long as it's REAL food, not processed food, without gaining any weight. My body should match that of those skinny bitches that can eat whatever they want and never gain a pound. When I take the HCG, my body will become super sensitive to anything that I put into it, meaning, if I put lotion with any nutritional oil onto my body, it could stall my loss or I could even gain. So, it's so important that I don't cheat at all. It's to difficult a diet to do over and over. So I take the shots for 6 weeks with a diet that only consists of 500 calories. I won't feel hungry at all after the first few days. But those first few days might be tough. I'm praying big time to get through it. My body will be using about 1500 calories a day in stored fat that would never be touched otherwise, to stay healthy. These reserves are not the first ones released when dieting diet and exercise alone. Then after I'm done with the shots come the very important retraining days. As I SLOWLY reintroduce starches and sugars back into my diet, my metabolism will learn to process them efficiently. I have enough weight to lose that I will have to do this diet twice. I'm hoping to do the second round in January.
No matter how freaky you think this is, please wish me luck. And don't worry, if things aren't going well, I'll stop.
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